Work // Stress

HEY YALL

This is probably my final post before i start getting really busy with work tomorrow!
I recently went for an interview for this part time 35-days long job at Sheraton Towers (hotel) as a mooncake promoter HAHAHAHAH.shit i know how bad this sounds cause like idk,a mooncake promoter job really sounds like a joke to me. I still have to wear this cute maxi cheongsum to work HAHAHA.

I did indeed work such boring jobs at places such as levis, TGIF (FRIDAYS), and other retail / F&B places but i stopped doing so for a year already. Just don't see where these jobs can lead me plus it was too fucking boring plus it was just for saving up at that point in time. I spent all of the money i saved from working those years, on just the first launches of StyleHacks. Like really all the money i saved up just gone.

SO i'm planning to or i'll try my hardest to work 35 out of 35 days of the mooncake job cause i really need to earn that sum of money for future launches. I'm really just so fucking broke already every bit also need to save. Actually not "every bit also need to save", more like NO MONEY TO SPEND ANYWAY. :( yeap i am that pathetic now. I'm willing to go all way out to force my ass to work 7 days a week for my shop.

AND the Europe trip with boyfriend and his parents is just in 2 months OMG and i still don't have any money saved up to spend there. Probably going to use all the money i earn from teaching to save up for it. Every bit i'll be earning over the next few months wouldn't even be for myself to spend anymore lol. Just for the shop and that's about it :(

Money is indeed an issue for me now and i never stop calculating how much i need for this and that and get all stressed up. I hope things would really start to work out with the shop cause idk,i can't let this cycle of losing money every month with no returns repeat for the rest of my life.

My mom is already starting to put pressure on me asking me what's my dateline to sort of "give up" on this dream cause she knows i'm just kinda "throwing money" away buying stocks and having no business. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY SHE HAS TO ASK THIS QUESTION like DUH i know i can't let this continue for the rest of my life right I SAVED UP THAT MONEY OVER YEARS and YEARS i mean from PRIMARY SCHOOL (10 bloody years) and i have to work so damn hard just to earn money for future collections just to see it go to waste OK money doesn't come easy for me cause i'm no rich kid (and i don't depend much on my parents financially cause i am no selfish bitch,i NEVER ask for more money i NEVER take extra money even if they ask me to) SO I KNOW IT TOO. AND IT DOES,IT DOES PAIN ME TO SEE no orders NO ORDERS all the time plus knowing how much i SPENT. I AM indeed quite good with numbers so i can remember EXACTLY how much i spent ok and it HURTS.

Ok that rant did make me feel better but the point is i answered her question with "a year". She does know it's been exactly a month now,yeap. Just 11 more months to go before we judge if i should continue or quit. But obviously i really want to continue this shit cause i love it. All the satisfaction from putting in a lot of effort and end up getting orders is a fun thing to me (ya ok i am a boring person). I have always known that i love doing things that are business related. SO I DONT CARE i'm going to try my hardest.

ANYONE who knows me would know,that i'm a crazily lazy person,be it in school or at home or at the piano. I only start panicking when it's super close to exams or concerts and i chiong all way out and really focus on things that have to be done. Ok that's not the point, the point is. THAT I AM NEVER LAZY WHEN IT COMES TO STYLEHACKS' BUSINESS. I feel, that i CANNOT, slack in any way. I can NOT let the photos turn out like shit, i can NOT let the launch be a minute late, i can NOT bring in fugly clothing. It totally stresses me out and i really put a whole lot of pressure on myself but i guess through this you can already know that i really love my store. Laziness isnt and will never be a part of me when it comes to the store. All i can say is that this shit i'm doing right now,is really what i want to do with my life. I cannot let it slip and i must do my best.

K this post is so serious and all i can't take it anymore HAHAHA shall end it abruptly,whatever.
Will still try to blog when i manage to find the time! Don't even know if i'll have anything to blog about cause my life is going to be so crazily boring over the next 5 weeks lol but i always end up with something to say anyway.hmm. If you have anything to say to me please comment?i fucking love reading comments LOL. KBAI