Post - Out of Nowhere

Just some random thoughts in the middle of the night because i'm feeling extremely demoralized after seeing how my shop Stylehacks fairs in comparison to all the competition there is in the world of online shopping in singapore.

I really have no idea what i'm doing wrong, what i'm not doing enough, what can be done better or whatsoever.
I have put in so much thought to it, weighing what advertising strategies i could use based on the cost vs it's effectiveness etc
I try to include Stylehacks items in almost all of my outfit posts on instagram just so i could feature the shop on a daily basis.
I really try to take the best of photos i can JUST for the sake of the shop.
Every single thing that i've done over the past 9 months has been for the shop.
But i really see no progress at all.

Working for mooncake festival everyday over 8-12hours earning more than 3k in that month : used for buying stocks in thailand
Savings over the past 3-4 years : ALL spent on stocks
Little bits of earning from teaching these days : also spent on stocks

I am indeed, left with almost no more money for myself at all. All that i have left is that one webstore there.
I've stopped online shopping for ages, it's been so long since i got something off the mail?
I am dying to do, buy and eat all kinds of things but i keep telling myself that i need to save it up for the shop as well.
I even have to rethink buying things that only cost a few bucks since i have almost no money left for myself.

Now the question is, whether it is all worth it at all.

Even after the answer is so damn obvious, i still refuse to quit.
I don't even know why the shop means so much to me.

Maybe you'd say, or Ritche would say, that there has been improvements over the past few months and i should be happy.
Well i am.
But look at what i'm left with. Look at my account balance. Look at how i'm struggling to pay for the stocks.
Look at where my shop stands in comparison to others.
I don't even know what i'm supposed to do.

So many designs on the store all left untouched, all in the tens of boxes i have in my room and Ritche's house.
So much so till i have troubles just looking for an item.

My parents who just look at me like i'm a useless child, looking away from just doing music alone and doing something "useless" like setting up a shop.

Just what am i to do.

I tried sourcing for many other things that could be added on the website to further improve it.
But apparently it can't even be added on the site that i'm currently using for Stylehacks.
SO, the only things i could do would be to shift to another site, pay like idk $80 per month, redo the whole site, hire a person to do the website for me which would cost between $300-500? Where the fuck does that money come from?
SO WHAT if i revamp the damn site anyway right?
If i could earn $30 from the shop in a month i should already be laughing.

People say like oh i envy how you're doing what you like and all.
But so what if i'm doing what i love, what if it leads me absolutely nowhere in the future?
It'll eventually have to come to a stop, doesn't it?
Am i just holding on to false hopes that it'll eventually get so much better to a point when i'll actually make a profit?
Now it's just whether i should spend a few thousand dollars more to invest in the shop and make more losses and cling on to some hope that it'll get better vs giving it all up.

I really dont know. Is there really someone on the other side of the computer screen genuinely being interested in the things that i sell?
Or am i just wasting money and time on something absolutely futile and seen by nobody at all.

Of course i wouldn't want to see all of my efforts and my savings go to waste.
I don't mind investing all that i have as long as i can really get somewhere with this in the future. If not how am i to support myself anyway.
I am also afraid i'm not capable enough to actually make it that far and eventually this might really just be a waste of time and money.

Apparently i feel better after writing down how i feel but this time i just feel so confused and upset i don't even know how to end this post.
Maybe tell me what you'd do if you were me and leave a comment?